If you ever happen to be running a trivia night somewhere, and for a couple of your questions, you'd like your contestants to translate foreign phrases, here's a tip: make sure your caller can actually pronounce said phrases, or at least spell them for the audience. Amour and mort sound a bit alike in French, but there's quite a bit of difference in meaning there.

1. Which U.S. President actually named the White House "The White House?"
2. What is the tallest mountain in Europe?
3. What is the most common element in the human body?
4. Within 100 lbs., how big was the largest measured pumpkin in the world?

Kitten Fight. Kitten Fight.

Previously, on One Tree Hill: Lots of things happened. People got shot, people made out, I don't recognize much of it, but apparently someone named Jimmy died.
It's the morning of the first Tree Hill basketball game, and Nathan is feeling guilty. He tries to tell Haley that Fran is a first-class nutjob, but Fran, shockingly, pops up at this exact moment to announce that she's been accepted into grad school. She's giving her two weeks notice, which means we've got two weeks until she goes Peyton Flanders on us.
Speaking of women named Peyton, the one on this show is taking Mia to the basketball game, and takes her on a tour of the school, because Mia has never been inside a high school, I guess. Several minutes later, Brooke and Haley take Lindsey on a tour of the school as well. "And over here is the White Room! That used to be my locker! Isn't this thrilling?" Anywho, the ladies all run into each other in the library, and Peyton and Lindsey start the verbal gymnastics. When the groups try to separate, they discover that there is a work order to fix the door handles on Monday morning, and the doors cannot be opened from the inside. The absurdity of this fact, and the fact that there is no other means of exiting the school library, is not discussed.
Despite the fact that this is 2008, only one person has a cell phone, and it is not charged. The library computer has an internet connection, so of course the ladies go with the obvious plan: order a pizza so that the delivery guy can get them out. That was the plan you thought of, right?
Lindsey and Peyton continue their verbal sparring. I sit on the edge of the couch, slugging down bourbon and yelling, "hit her! Hit her!" They do not come to blows. Mia tries to bring everyone together with song, because there happens to be a guitar in the library, and she's had this riff in her head all week. Of course, the whole time she's playing it, I keep expecting her to suddenly announce that she's sleeping with Matt Damon (link NSFW, as if you didn't know). Mia, honey, that tune's been in everyone's head all week.
There's more arguing, more drinking (did I mention they found a bottle of booze in the library? Of course they did), and finally Peyton makes fun of Lindsey's dad, which is the last straw, because you know her dad's dead. Well, you probably didn't, but now you do, and so do the rest of us, and Lindsey cries, and Peyton feels bad because her mom is dead, and they have a big weepy make-up dialogue. I sit on the edge of the couch, yelling, "kiss her! Kiss her!" Lindsey and Peyton do not make out. I throw my bourbon at the television.

Next week: Lucas's and Nathan's father is up for parole, after serving over four years for murdering his brother. Will he get out? Will Jamie be forced to meet his grandfather? Will any of us care? Tune in next week, or you'll miss the excitement!

Missed It by THAT Much

Heartbreak this week at trivia, as we were only one point out of first at halftime and going into the final question, but our guess on the final was just outside the acceptable range. The new trivia crew still hasn't made it to an decent level of difficulty; we missed just four questions total. And while, as mentioned, we were just a point out of first place after the first half, we were tied with nine(!) teams, and three teams were ahead of us. You, the blog-reading public, couldn't care less about whether or not my team wins week in and week out, but easy trivia means fewer questions for you, so I feel like our loss is your loss. Try and keep a brave face as you ponder our misses.

1) In what month did Abraham Lincoln write the Gettysburg Address?
2) Which was the last of the Confederate States of America to re-join the Union following the Civil War?
3) Name the three largest cities in South Carolina by population. (Remember that we live in South Carolina, so this isn't considered an impossible question here.)
4) Within five, how many episodes of Friends were aired?

I'll Send All My Lovin' to You

Let's catch up with the denizens of Tree Hill, NC, shall we?
We begin with Lucas proposing to Lindsey in order to keep her from leaving. Literally; she tells him goodbye, she's walking out the door, he grabs her hand and proposes, she melts. If this move actually worked, I'd be marrying my last girlfriend. Fortunately for all concerned, it only works on television. Lucas suggests getting married as soon as possible, presumably so that we can get to the episode where Lindsey leaves him at the altar before the end of this season. Incidentally, while Lindsey isn't an unlikeable character, we've been given absolutely no reason to care about her, which is why I'm fairly certain she won't actually be Mrs. Scott (at least, not for long).
Peyton, of course, is devastated, but when she goes to the high school to confront Lucas, she runs into a girl who lives in her closet, or something like that. Anyway, this girl comes out of the closet long enough to give Peyton the strength to tell Lucas she's letting him go. At least for this week.
The recently-fired Mouth arrives at work and packs his desk. But wait! The crew member in charge of exposition stops by and informs him that Alice, in fact, has been fired. Unfortunately, she's been fired for sleeping with a subordinate. Mouth continues packing. But wait! It seems the subordinate in question was the evening anchor. In fact, Alice has nailed most of the staff (including the Exposition Grip), and many staff members knew about her affairs with many other staff members. This raises two questions:
1) Where did she find the time?
2) How are the higher-ups just now finding out about this?
With Alice out of the picture, Mouth is free to pursue Millicent. Unfortunately, the weirdness at the club causes her to reject him -- for about thirty seconds. They go on a date at the TV station, and there's some philosophy about the similarities between sports and ballet, and then Millicent tells Mouth to close his eyes so she can kiss him. Aw.
Nathan continues to not avoid the nanny named Fran. This week, he tells Fran bluntly to stop flirting with him. Fran, of course, interprets this as, "step up your efforts to seduce me," and faithfully obeys, finally getting Nathan to close his eyes so she can kiss him. Can we get to the episode where she tries to kill Haley already? We all know it's coming.
Haley is still mad at everybody. It's good to have the girl who was married at 17 and gave birth on Prom Night as the moral center of your show.
Finally, Brooke is still trying to date the bartender, who I'm just gonna call Woody. To his credit, he's having none of it, though he does have some fun messing with her head. However, he isn't prepared for Brooke's secret weapon: she shows up naked in his back seat. Woody relents, and agrees to sleep with her, at which point Brooke informs him that she's not that easy, and leaves (fully dressed, it would appear). In my head, Jens Lekman's "Get Away From Me, Psycho Girl" plays.
Next week: women are inexplicably locked in a classroom or library or somewhere else where there's no good reason for them to a) be b) not be able to easily exit. Catfight ensues.

Days of Auld Lang Syne

One year ago today, BOAD flared into existence, the result of my embarrassment at the public outing of my nearly blank University homepage - which, now that I think about it, I have the power to update. Maybe I should get on that.
At any rate, I've gone through a lot of content ideas, but the weekly trivia questions have stuck, and it's kept people coming back. I want to thank all eight of you for giving me a reason to keep this thing going. This week's One Tree Hill recap will be up later tonight.

Also, their mint juleps are lousy

1. Which "holiday" do I detest more than ever after the local hotel bar cancelled trivia night in an attempt to get couples to consume their subpar comestibles?
2. What is the emotion that I experienced upon observing that said hotel bar was nearly empty at 7:30 p.m. on said "holiday?"

Two Girls For Every Boy

Conclusions I reached last night:

1) The existence of mint juleps is a strong argument in favor of a Benevolent Creator.
2) This week's episode of One Tree Hill is gold. Pure gold!

This season of OTH has kind of sucked. I mean, even relative to the bar set by previous seasons. But last night was a truly Spelling-esque effort, a sudsy masterwork to rival the best drama The O.C. ever gave us. Oh, the subplots! Let's recap:
1) Peyton loves Lucas. Lindsey loves Lucas. Lucas probably loves Peyton, but claims he loves Lindsey. This leads to both women getting in arguments with Lucas, and avoiding each other. Fortunately, the cool-headed Lucas ends both arguments by making out with Peyton, then immediately driving home and proposing to Lindsey. Hilarity will, no doubt, ensue.
2) Meanwhile, Peyton asks Mia, the one act currently signed to her fledgling record label, to play one song to open for tonight's band. Mia, because she has been browbeaten by her ex-bandleader (played by the one and only Kevin Federline, in what will no doubt be his magnum opus) into believing she is untalented, freaks out. After Peyton and Haley convince Mia to go on stage anyway, she freezes (shocking!), until (wait for it!) K-Fed begins heckling her from the audience, at which point she belts out an awesome song, because she is Kate Voegele, our musical version of Laney Boggs.
3) Speaking of Laney Boggs, Brooke has set her assistant Millicent up with Mouth. Millicent is an absurdly gorgeous woman, who the OTH brain trust makes us believe is actually mousy and unattractive, by a) having her wear square-framed glasses b) dressing her in last season's designer clothes (thus making her "frumpy") c) standing her next to Sophia Bush as often as possible (admittedly, this is effective). What Mouth doesn't know is that this is a date. What Millicent and Brooke don't know is that Mouth is sleeping with his boss, Alice. What no one knows is that Alice has followed Mouth to the club, and gives him the "get away from that mousy girl and keep sleeping with me or you're fired" speech over the course of the evening. After awkwardly driving Millicent away, Mouth finds his testicles (apparently, Brooke has had them for years) and tells Alice he's fired.
4) Nathan, having been promised a major sexing-up after the gang's bar trip, proceeds to not drink. He also proceeds to not avoid the increasingly slutty nanny, whom I will henceforth refer to as Fran, because I cannot remember her name. At one point, Fran hands Nathan a typed memo which reads, "Dear Sir: I am trying to seduce you and replace your wife." Nathan responds by telegram, "I do find you attractive stop however I am married and think of you mainly as an employee stop." Both parties miss the subtext, and Nathan's polite, strained conversation is somehow interpreted as flirting. The evening ends with Nathan almost getting in a fight with K-Fed, and with us being unsubtly reminded that Nathan's last bar fight cost him his NBA career and left him in a wheelchair for months. Also, the high school basketball star who has been drinking in the bar all night in front of his coaches clocks K-Fed; this results in absolutely no consequences for anyone but Federline, who is hauled out of the club by security. Fran inexplicably comes home with Nathan and Haley despite the fact that the kid is staying overnight somewhere else, gets Nathan another copy of that memo, and goes skinny dipping. Nathan is left to ponder Fran's incredible subtlety after Haley denies him the previously promised sexing-up.
5) Haley is mad at everybody. Fortunately, she's a high school teacher, so she'll be able to take out her frustrations on her students all week.
6) Brooke sits in the middle of everything and tries to fix everyone's problems. As a result, Peyton is heartbroken, Lucas has proposed marriage as a means of ending an argument, and Mouth is out of a job. Well done, Brooke. But Miss Davis has problems of her own, you see. Her domineering mother (remember when Daphne Zuniga was taking cross-country trips with John Cusack? It shocks me that she's the "middle-aged mom" character now) is at the club, in full cougar mode, and it's a little embarrassing. There's something about their fashion company, too, but this isn't a show about business; toss in a line about scheduling a conference call, and no one will care too much about the fact that no one seems to spend any time actually working. Also, she's trying to date the bartender, who is actually fixing everyone's problems. Granted, with mind-numbing intoxicants, but sometimes alcohol is the answer, yes?

Will Lucas and Lindsey get married? Will Nathan be able to resist Fran's advances? Will Millicent remove her glasses and make everyone realize she's a princess? Will Skills get any screen time? Tune in next week for more drama!

Oops!

Sorry for the delay in posting; I've had a busy weekend.
At any rate, this week marked the return of actual trivia; questions about relatively obscure topics, things that you might reasonably expect someone to know, but you wouldn't expect everyone to know. It beats question after question about 90's sitcoms. The misses:

1. What unit of measure is defined as the amount of energy required to raise the temperature of one gram of water by one degree Celsius?
2. Who was introduced as "The Killer of Custer" at Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show?
3. To what 200-block section of Miami would you go if you wanted to dance the merengue or dine on roast goat?
4. What nation's holidays include Discovery Day, Natal Day, and Fête Nationale?
5. What civilization, after noticing spring holidays were being celebrated in winter, became the first to develop the solar calendar?

Endut! Hoch Hech!

Last night was Cartoon Trivia. Unsurprisingly, we didn't miss many questions. Then again, nobody missed many questions; we finished fourth, based on the fact that we could only get three of the nine possible "halftime" points. The questions were a bit disappointing, actually - theme nights usually stink because the subject matter is so narrow that it forces the questions to be overly specific, but in this case, the narrowness seemed self-inflicted. All but three of the questions were about half-hour shows that began sometime in the 80s, and two of those were about Scooby-Doo.
In keeping with the trend of the last few weeks, then, I present gussied-up questions. The first one is the halftime question, the second is the final (but harder), the third is the only difficult question they asked all night, the rest are mine.

1. Name the six alter egos of Doug (Doug Funny is his name, not an alter ego).
2. Give the names (first AND last) of the members of Mystery, Inc. You need not include Scrappy.
3. Who is Olive Oyl's brother?
4. Name the first female Autobot.
5. In which decade did Walt Disney's first feature-length animated movie premiere?
6. In what year does the bulk of the anime movie Akira take place?

Fortunately, they didn't ask for five

Well, I'm a little embarrassed, because I don't have any trivia misses to give you. The reason is... we didn't miss a single question last night. Not one. Not even the final. Obviously, we won. So instead of the misses, I'll give you a few that I can remember, and make up a few more.

1. Which war began the same year that the U.S. government began printing paper money?
2. Name at least four of the seven Noble Gases.
3. What New Orleans dish gets its name from the Bantu word for okra?
4. What was in The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari?
5. Who has more 300-strikeout seasons: Pedro Martinez or Roger Clemens?

Hey, Remember the 90's?

It turns out there's a new crew writing trivia nights, and they're still working on coming up with ideas, so they built on last week's "90's sitcom trivia" with the slightly-more-general "90's trivia" night last night. The bad news for you: that stuff is pretty much right in our wheelhouse, so we didn't miss a question the whole night until the final. The bad news for us: it's right in everybody's wheelhouse, so the three teams that actually did answer the final question passed us. The first question is last night's final; the next three are bonus questions I came up with.

1. On April 1, 1990, minimum wage was raised from $3.35/hr to what new rate?
2. What venue hosted the first indoor game in FIFA World Cup history?
3. What talk show debuted on WLWT-TV in Cincinnati in September of 1991 as a replacement for The Phil Donahue Show?
4. Which Spice Girl announced her departure from the band on May 31, 1998?

Time's fun when you're having flies

Yesterday, we had a "winter event," or at least what passes for one in South Carolina. Five inches of snow fell at my house, more than last year at this time, which was more than, well, apparently any day in the eight years previous. As a result, the area bus line suspended service until 10:00 in the morning. No way am I taking my own car out in a mess like that, so I spent my morning at home.
The most jarring upset to my morning schedule was walking the dog. Ginny generally wants to get out the door as soon as she gets up, which is around 6:00 these days. Yesterday, however, she slept until almost 7:00. I got bundled up, got her downstairs, got the leash on, opened the door... and she took one look at the Great Outdoors and decided she didn't want to go for a walk after all.
I know that the walk takes up a good chunk of my morning schedule (30-40 minutes, if we get a full walk in), but I hadn't really appreciated that time until we didn't do it. I ate a leisurely breakfast (usually it takes about three bites), did the readings that I had planned to do at school, washed the dishes that I normally save for when I got home, started a load of laundry... and it still wasn't 7:30.
There was a point to this story, but it has slipped my mind.

Our Long National Nightmare Is Over

After denying us our right to answer random questions for nearly a month, trivia night finally returned last night. Upon arrival, we were informed that it was "90s sitcom trivia night," which was all well and good, until they started asking questions about shows that were not sitcoms. Alternatively, maybe I need to start viewing 90210 in a whole new light. TV trivia also means a fresh glut of questions about Saved By the Bell, which invariably are passed on to you, the reader.

1. Who was the youngest child on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air?
2. What is A.C. Slater's full name (i.e., what does "A.C." stand for)?
3. We all know what ZIP code Brandon and Brenda Walsh lived in, but what city were they Walshes originally from?
4. What is the street number of the Melrose Place apartments?
5. What town did Pete & Pete live in?
Final:
6. What score did Zack Morris get on the SAT?

Better Late Than Never

With the New Year over a week old, it seems like time to list this year's Resolutions:

• Get the PhD.
• Brown-bag it more. I'm spending close to $40 a week going out to lunch.
• Less red meat. Less butter. Less sugar. Sigh.
• Way less pizza. In particular, I will avoid the all-you-can-eat pizza buffet at Todaro's, in deference to my long-suffering arteries.
  
• Stop using sponges to clean the dishes, as they are, apparently, nothing more than slightly soapy bacteria farms.
• Make it to 400 on the 1001 Movies You Must See list. That will require just under 140 movies. I think I can do it.
• Ride the bus more. I've already paid a hefty "transportation fee" to fund the bus system, I might as well get what I've paid for. As a bonus, half-hour bus ride + Google Video + iPod touch = 1-2 movies a week.
  

More resolutions (maybe) if I think of them.

Happy New Week!

Here we are, nearly a week into the new year, and the Preschool is ready to open back up.
While some corners of the blogosphere take an intentional holiday break, mine is due mostly to the fact that I visit my parents around Christmastime, and the internet connections up there are... well, let's just say that this post would likely take several hours to finish, and I have better things to do (for example, walking the dog through the huge cornfields behind Mom's house). And yes, Christmas was now two weeks ago, but I've been playing with my presents.

Anyway, content should start up again any day now. Expect trivia on Thursday (or Friday, depending). Perhaps a list of New Years Resolutions. I have an idea for the cooking posts that I might try. It is, as usual, very exciting. Stay tuned, people.

Nothing To Fear If You've Got the Gear

Soap: check.
Towels: check.
Hose: check.
Old clothes: check.
Running shoes: check.
Leash: check.
Escape routes blocked: check.
Reward treats: check.

If bathing the dog is this much fun, I can't wait for kids.

We couldn't name the Seattle Seven, either

One of tonight's questions was, "what award is given to the winner of the Notre Dame - USC football game?" (See last week's similar question). Of course, no one on my team attended or cares about either of these schools, so we didn't know. We were prepared to submit something perfectly silly ("Rodney Peete's Appendix," if you cared), until the caller announced that they would be "lax about the spelling." We debated briefly about what could be both difficult to spell and related to football, or Irish, or Trojans, and decided that "The Golden Shillelagh" was a suitably hilarious answer. As you, my trivia-savvy readers, no doubt already know, we were exactly right. The moral of the story is to listen closely to everything the caller says.
We were in first place until the final question, but couldn't answer it. Serves us right for not watching enough TV. Sadly, Pirates vs. Ninjas trivia was postponed, so you get normal questions. Even more sadly, this was the last trivia night this year, so I'm missing my main source of content for a month. Guess I'll have to dredge up some new puzzles.

1. What is the economic term for a system in which a product has many suppliers, but only one buyer, who is then free to set the price (note that this is the opposite of a monopoly)?
2. Name all five members of the Jackson Five. (Without going through the previous trivia posts, I am fairly sure we've missed this before.)
Final:
3. Who is Woody Woodpecker's arch-nemesis?

Why did Constantinople get the works?

An irritating fourth-place finish at trivia tonight. Irritating, because we were supposedly tied for first going into the final question, and we were told that only two teams got that question right, including the team that was tied with us. Turned out, someone claimed a score discrepancy, and was ahead of us all along. Not much to do about that, I guess.
There was a question about the original location of New Amsterdam. Thankfully, there were no questions about Chuck Norris, though there was a category that referred to him. Next week: Pirates vs. Ninjas trivia. Don't pinch yourself; you're not dreaming.

1. What "trophy" does the winner of the Colorado State - Wyoming football game receive? (as an example, the winner of the Stanford-Cal game receives The Axe.)
2. What Christmas present does Ralphie want in A Christmas Story?
3. What was the name of Pete's Dragon?
4. What nickname did Frank Sinatra and Whitey Ford share?
Final:
5. Each king in a standard deck of playing cards is based on an historical king. Who are the four kings? Extra credit for matching them with the suits, though this was, apparently, not required.

The answer to every question is "turkey"

Obviously, trivia is off this week. I considered coming up with theme questions (What bird did Ben Franklin originally propose as the national bird of the U.S.? What do you call three consecutive strikes in bowling?), but you'll get enough of that soon; one of the next two weeks will be Pirates vs. Ninjas trivia.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

You could even add cranberry sauce

I spent yesterday on the road, but today we get a very very special Thanksgiving Day ROTW. If you're coming here at 1:00 to get any recipes for today, you're in trouble, but what to do with all that leftover turkey? You could make soup. You could make sandwiches. Heck, you'll probably make soup and sandwiches, and still have leftovers. Here's another idea, which incorporates our second-favorite food here at the Preschool: risotto.
Thanksgiving Risotto

6 cups stock (turkey if you've got it, chicken if you don't)
2 T. butter or oil
1 medium onion, diced small
2 cups arborio rice
1/2 cup dry white wine
salt and pepper
1/2 pound or more cooked turkey, shredded
1/2 cup leftover vegetables (corn is great, carrots and cauliflower is okay, green bean casserole is risky)
1 4-8 oz. package mushroooms, sliced

heat the stock and hold at a simmer.
melt the butter (or heat the oil) in a large, heavy bottomed pan over the same heat level you're using on the stock. Add the onion and cook until translucent. Add the rice and stir until every grain is coated with oil and is slightly toasted. Add the wine; stir until the liquid is absorbed, then add salt and pepper to taste.
Add the stock by ladlefuls (about 1/2 cup at a time) and stir the rice constantly, adding more liquid whenever the stock is absorbed (this process will take 20-30 minutes). After ten minutes, add the mushrooms and continue stirring. When the mixture becomes creamy and the rice grains are no longer crunchy, stir in the turkey and vegetables. Cook five more minutes to heat the turkey and vegetables. Serves a whole lot of people.