Conan The Librarian would not be pleased

Won a tiebreaker to pull out second place at trivia night this week. I might have won, but for the first question coming out of halftime, which asked the first name of retired U.S. General Schwarzkopf. Norman, it turns out, is his middle name, which I probably should have remembered.

1. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, what book is most often stolen from libraries?
2. How many full-length Police Academy films have been made?
3. How many Astronauts have walked on the moon?
4. What Revolutionary War general was known as the "Swamp Fox?"
5. How many contestants begin each season of Survivor?
6. What category is classified by the numbers 900-999 in the Dewey Decimal System?

edited to add: Oh yeah, and:
7. What's Schwarzkopf's first name?

The DUE date vs. the DO date

Wednesday night was exam night for my precious snowflakes, and I should have been prepared for the horror. When three students asked me before the exam review, "Does the final replace our lowest exam grade?" (answer: Yes, just like the syllabus says, and like I have said in class after the first two exams ), and then another one asked the same question as soon as we began the review, and then another asked the same question at the end of the review, that should have been a red flag. But I still wasn't ready for the looks of sullen despair, the frequent heavy sighs, the people handing in the test and trudging out thirty minutes early with most of the answers still blank (an aside: leaving early without even attempting to answer all the questions astounds me, and not in a good way. If you are ever in a class I teach and pull this crap, pray that you are not on the borderline between two grades, because you WILL get the lower one). I also was not ready to have to wake a student from a mid-test nap, but that's another story.
After an hour of post-test grading, I couldn't take any more, and went home for a rest. That's when I made the mistake of checking my messages, two of which were from a student who was absolutely flabbergasted that there was an online homework assignment due that night, and was not at all in the mood to work on more material half an hour after the exam.
Now, I should mention that all the homework is online, there's instant feedback if you do something wrong, and if you do miss a question, you can try a "similar exercise" until you get it right. Basically, there's no excuse for getting a low homework score, which is fine by me, because I consider homework to be practice for the exam, and this particular setup is excellent practice. I don't happen to agree with our coursewide due dates, which delays the due dates for several sections until after the exam which includes that section (I think it defeats the purpose of using homework to prepare for the exam; see previous sentence), but it's not a battle I've felt like fighting. Besides, most students are doing the assignments as soon as we cover the material, and sometimes beforehand - the assignments have been available since the beginning of the term.
That's really the thing that wound me up about these messages. I didn't reply, of course - the student was obviously just venting some post-exam frustration - but when the assignment (with due date displayed) available the entire semester, and when we've covered this particular section a full week before the exam, how is one still surprised to find it's due that night?
The final sentence of the second message asked, "from now on, can we be assigned the homework problem sets on days that we don't take a test on?" After several days of mulling this over, I have decided that the student is right, the assignments shouldn't be due right after the exam. I will thus be going against the course policy (with the permission of the coordinator, of course) and changing the due dates for two of the sections.
To the day BEFORE the exam.

There must be a "One Light" pun to be made here

U2 has a concert starting in 17 minutes, and they must cross a darkened catwalk to reach the stage. All four men begin on the same side of the catwalk, and at most two can cross at a time. The band has only one torch (you know, a flashlight), and whoever is crossing the bridge must have the torch with them. Each band member walks at a different speed, and any pair crossing must walk together at the slower man's pace.
Bono takes 1 minute to cross the catwalk.
Edge takes 2 minutes to cross the catwalk.
Adam takes 5 minutes to cross.
Larry takes 10 minutes to cross.
For example: if Bono and Adam cross together, they will take five minutes to cross. If Bono comes back with the torch, he takes only one more minute.

Without throwing the torch or using Bono's superpowers (which, as we all know, include bioluminescence) or any other weird tricks, can all four band members get to the stage in time to start the show?

Some of us had track meets on Saturdays!

I feel trivia night has de-volved over the last year. I loved Saved By The Bell as much as anyone (anyone who didn't really like SBTB, that is), but enough already. Of course, as much as I complain, you would think that, knowing that three or four questions will be about 80s and early 90s cartoons and teen shows, I could brush up. You'd be right, of course, but it doesn't mean that I'm going to take time out of my other activities to study up on Beast Wars and Chuck Norris.
Actually, there was some decent trivia this week, particularly in the second half. The misses:

1. If you saw the short "Mathnet," what show were you watching?
2. What planet did the Thundercats settle on?
3. On Saved By The Bell, what was the name of the beach club where the gang worked?
4. In Beast Wars, what is the name of the Maximal ship?
5. How many men in the U.S. are diagnosed with breast cancer each year?
6. How many U.S. Presidents were born British subjects?
7. What artist's 1997 album was the top selling album of the 1990s?
8. What is the dot over a lowercase i called?

This post has no title - the Duke of Cornwall took it

Mother is in town this week, and with her help, we cruised through the first half of trivia. Unfortunately, the halftime question was "list the exact scores of Clemson's first three home football games." Now, I enjoy football, and I do like that I attend a school with a decent football team, but once the game ends, I couldn't care less what the actual score was. Apparently, I am alone in this, because a large number of teams had scores which would indicate they knew the scores of these games. We could have placed if we knew the answer to the final question, but we didn't.

We got #3 right, but I liked the question.

1) Louis Braille invented a system of writing for the blind. Was Louis Braille blind?
2) How many Noble Truths does Buddhism recognize?
3) What is the better-known title of the man who is also Duke of Cornwall?
Final:
4) In what year did Mississippi ratify the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution, which abolishes slavery?

I told them to stop with the Chuck Norris questions, they didn't, I'm outta here.

If you were wondering where last week's trivia questions were, I chose to skip trivia night last week. I had already eaten, didn't feel like drinking, and while some people just drink water and eat the free rolls and don't spend a cent unless they win, I'm not one of them.
As it turns out, however, trivia night was cancelled anyway. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I didn't show up.
To tide you over until this week's installment, here are two bonus questions:

1) How many states border at least one of the Great Lakes?
2) How many Canadian provinces border at least one of the Great Lakes?

A Question of Adaptation

Charlie loves orchids. How can he plant ten orchids so that he has five straight rows of four orchids each?

I blame Eileen Brennan

This week was a little too easy, apparently. Unfortunately, it wasn't easy for me, but after I missed two questions in the first round, I was out of the running for first; the winning team missed a total of one point. A miss at halftime cost me any shot at a prize. Considering the halftime questions were about Halo 3, and I've never owned, played, or seen anyone play any of the Halo series, the fact that I got any of them right is a coup.

1. In what state does the movie Beetlejuice take place?
2. In quidditch, what is the ball used for scoring called?
3. What was Chuck Norris's given first name at birth?
4. What original Halo weapon makes a comeback in Halo 3?
5. How many books by L. Frank Baum comprise the "Wizard of Oz" series?
6. Who was the last act at the original Woodstock music festival?
7. Name the six suspects in the original Clue boardgame.

So, Where Was I?

Ah yes, engaged.

The girl: we met two years ago, sometime during graduate student orientation. I was walking downtown to go to the bank, and passed another group of students in my department. As we all exchanged pleasantries, she mentioned that she liked my Death Cab For Cutie t-shirt. I replied that I knew several members of the band, and friendship was born.

(A note: the f claims this conversation took place in a math department hallway. I'm sticking to my story; I believe she's thinking of the time I asked her why her shirt said "British Sea Power" if it had a picture of a deer on it.)

I found her attractive, but thought she was out of my league. Plus, she had a boyfriend, and I was busy working my less-than-considerable charms elsewhere. The point is, I really didn't think of her as anything other than a friend, even when she lived with me for the summer. In fact, particularly that summer, as a) I was seeing someone else b) her boyfriend was in the process of moving back to Clemson c) she was paying me rent.

The first "date:" Last November, Death Cab played at Clemson. As it happened, both of our relationships had suddenly ended a few weeks earlier. She wanted to go to the show, but the now-ex-boyfriend had her ticket, and she didn't want to deal with him to get it back. I managed to get an extra ticket, and took her with me. We now talk about this as our first date, but at the time, it was just two friends going to a show together; when my mother heard about my "plus one," I made sure to point out that we were not dating, nor did we have any plans to do so.

The first kiss: I don't know what changed in the next three months, although we did end up hanging out together a lot. One day, though, she came over for dinner, we were watching a movie (Top Secret!, a movie which I will probably never get to watch again, because she hated it), and we kissed. She said it was a mistake and she wasn't ready for this, and left my house crying. That's right, the first time I kissed her, she cried and ran away.

That weekend, we were at a party, and the same thing happened, with the same result. Mercifully, the next week was Spring Break.

The next weekend, there was another get-together, and I promised to make pancakes for the entire drunken crew the next morning. Only one person came for breakfast.

For some reason, we decided to keep the relationship a secret. That lasted less than a week.

The proposal: She knew I was going to propose at some point, but had no idea that it would be this particular weekend; in fact, she had taken me to a jewelry store the previous weekend, unaware that I had already bought a ring.
We made plans to have dinner with some friends on Saturday. I was planning to propose during dessert, but I didn't have much of a plan beyond that. We were the first to arrive, and while we were waiting for everyone else, she mentioned that, on Friday night, one of our friends had commented on the sort of man she "was marrying." The friend had just slipped; neither one of us had said anything. Still, we were worried that one of us would let the cat out of the bag before we were actually ready. She said, "I wish we could just tell them." Sensing an opportunity, I replied, "well, why don't we tell them when they get here?" Before I knew it, I was out of the chair and on one knee. Our friends walked in just as I was getting up, to the applause of the surrounding tables.

And now you're caught up.

Mourning Becomes Electric

It was a musical weekend. Friday was Karaoke Night at a local watering hole, which was uneventful except for the extremely disturbing experience of three ten-year-old girls singing "Fergalicious." But, you know, they're not promiscuous.
Sunday, the f and I attended a concert. First up was Amos Lee. I didn't know his music; the f assured me that I was a cultural illiterate. We missed about half of his performance, but enjoyed what we heard.
The second act was Elvis Costello, who strolled onto the stage in silver shoes, and played a 45-minute acoustic set with no accompaniment. There is no ambiguity about Costello's politics, at least as they relate to the current Administration; but while a lesser showman would have ended by rolling "Scarlet Tide" into "(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love, and Understanding" and ridden the antiwar applause right off the stage, Costello put this duo in the middle of his set, then spent an additional 20 minutes rocking. His aim was true.
After Costello came the headliner, Bob Freakin' Dylan. After an introduction which rivaled that of Sir Ulrich Von Lichtenstein, Dylan took the stage with His Band, which, judging by their recycled swing riffs, was Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. It's nice that they're still finding work. The ensemble proceeded to work through almost two hours of lounge-band covers of Dylan songs, whilst the Great Man himself played the keyboard and channeled Tom Waits. While the f was less than enthusiastic about wholesale changes to the songs, I view it as a matter of practicality. Dylan had trouble hitting the high notes in his own songs forty years ago; now, with his vocal range reduced to about ten notes, it's necessary to turn them into mainly instrumental events, with the lyrics more spoken than sung. I can't say that it didn't work; the songs were energetic, and the crowd was definitely into the music (maybe the Pixies should take note). Still, watching a blues-rock spectacle, with not one song accompanied by fewer than six instruments, was not what we had in mind when we bought tickets to a Bob Dylan show.
I should point out that, while it wasn't everything I thought it would be, I did enjoy the show. However, I was disappointed by the encore, which was "All Along The Watchtower," arguably the one Dylan song which should be a rock song. I fault the backup band for this, as they turned it into a formulaic reproduction of the Jimi Hendrix version of the song. The bottom line on this show: if you mark the day that Dylan "went electric" as the end of the counterculture movement, or if you're hoping to hear all the songs off those old albums you have, you should stay away. If you just want to say that you saw Bob Dylan live, or if you're an Elvis Costello fan, go ahead and get a ticket; it's good music.
I guess that's about it for the news this weekend. Oh, except for the whole getting engaged thing. More on that after school.

Dropping the g

The gf is now just the f. As in, someday she'll be the w.
More later. Or not. For now, I'm going to bed; it's been a big day.

Call me White Goodman

No place at trivia again, as we got the first difficult final question in weeks. I'm beginning to think the restaurant manager reads this blog, and put in an entire round of questions about Saturday morning cartoons just to wind me up. Seriously, I'm considering a different Thursday night activity at this point.

1. What is the life expectancy (in years) of an average human being?
2. Who was the last U.S. President who was left-handed?
3. How many muscles does it take to frown?
4. What school was home to the 2000 Heisman Trophy winner?
5. How many female Smurfs were there?
6. What action hero was bestowed the title of Honorary Marine, in March 2007?
7. What woman has the most appearances on the cover of Time magazine?
8. In the average human being, which lung can hold more air (left or right)?
Final:
9. What was the first state to abolish the death penalty?

When Garmin Fails

This week's puzzle:
Four truckers were hauling loads to four different California cities. Along the way, each trucker was delayed by an unforeseen event. Determine the name of each trucker, his cargo, his destination, and the event that caused his delay.
Some hints to help you out:

• The trucker headed for San Francisco was delayed by the car accident.
• Dave's destination was not Los Angeles.
• The town festival delayed the trucker hauling cashews.
• Ron did not go to San Francisco.
• Mr. Mason was not delayed by the rockslide.
• Mr. Reinhold was delayed by a flooded bridge.
• The trucker hauling paper was not headed for San Jose.
• Dave, whose last name was not Reinhold, was hauling sporting goods.
• Mike Anderson was not delayed by the car accident.
• Paul, whose last name was not Reinhold, was traveling to San Diego.
• Mr. Simpson was hauling oranges, but was not going to Los Angeles.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar Does Not Sleep. He Waits.

Trivia this week got off to a great start. Of course, when the category for the first question is "States that rhyme with Borida," most of the teams probably started well, but I was on fire. I missed two questions in the first half, and even nailed the halftime questions, which were based on Chuck Norris Facts (the chief export of Chuck Norris? Pain). I had a huge lead coming out of the half, but then disaster struck. I missed the entire fourth round, failed to properly manage my points in the last round, and wound up fifth.
Trivia night at this restaurant has always tended towards 80s pop culture, but it's gotten a bit silly lately, with multiple questions each week devoted to Saturday morning cartoons and the original TGIF lineup. The misses:

1. What was did the U.S. pay for the Louisiana Purchase in 1803?
2. Where did the Gummi Bears live?
3. On Saved By the Bell, what was Screech's girlfriend's name?
4. What was the original title of Saved By the Bell?
5. What newspaper does Carrie Bradshaw write for on Sex And the City?
6. What Atlantic pirate was known as "The Gentleman Pirate?"

Perhaps he's a Robot In Disguise

Coming soon to a TV near you*: Detroit Lions receiver Calvin "Megatron" Johnson.

*assuming said TV is in the Detroit area, because no one else gets the Lions games

A Group of Seagulls is a "Flock"

The first round of trivia established a pattern: I would write down the correct answer, think for a minute, cross out said correct answer, and write down something else. By the time my teammates showed up, I had missed every question in the first round. When the final question rolled around, we had finally gotten enough points to match the top teams' halftime scores. Needless to say, we did not take home a prize. Here are some selected misses:

1. Who was the first U.S. President to receive the Nobel Peace Prize?
2. Which planet is home to our solar system's largest volcano?
3. What is Hulk Hogan's real name?
4. What is the term for a group of kangaroos?
5. What was the first movie in which the soundtrack rights cost more than the rest of the production combined?
6. Who was the first man to be elected President despite finishing second in the popular vote AND the electoral college?

Catching Up

Updates on our top stories:

TV: The gf's brother was named as the alternate in the "American Ninja" competition. He is in Japan right now, watching the taping of the new season of Ninja Warrior. He might still be tapped to compete; we won't know until he gets back later this week.

Running: I mentioned a while back that I had to stop running six years ago because I hurt my foot. It turns out that never quite healed. It's odd that it's bothering me now, because I haven't been sedentary the last six years, but I'm trying to figure out how I can run at night and still walk again in the morning.

Trivia: I'll post some of this week's questions in a bit. Let's just say there are a lot to choose from.

We got a thing goin' on

Last night's final question:

During the lunch hour at school, five boys from Mrs. Jones's homeroom visited a nearby lunch wagon. One of the boys took a candy bar without paying for it. When the boys were questioned by the principal, they made the following statements, in order:

1. Rex: "Neither Earl nor I did it."
2. Jack: "It was either Rex or Abe."
3. Abe: "Both Rex and Jack are lying."
4. Dan: "Abe's statement is not true; one of them is lying and the other is speaking the truth."
5. Earl: "What Dan said is wrong."

When Mrs. Jones was consulted, she said, "Three of the boys are always truthful, but everything the other two say will be a lie." Assuming that Mrs. Jones is correct, who stole the candy bar?

Addtional questions:
Don't those boys have excellent grammar and speaking skills?
Where are they going to school that they have an open campus and nearby lunch trucks?
Couldn't Mrs. Jones be a bit more helpful in identifying the rascals in her class?

But I did know how fast Han Solo made the Kessel Run

A word about team names:
Each team submits a name at the beginning of trivia night. We are asked to keep the name to three words, but they'll let longer names go (my all-time favorite was, "My other team name is a Porsche"). The only hard and fast rule is "keep it clean," although there's always some bunch of brain-dead juveniles who think it's funny and original to call themselves the "Sofa Kings." Anyway, this week, given a certain prominent South Carolina-related story, no fewer than four teams made reference to Lauren Caitlin Upton (including "South African Mapmakers" and "Like, Such As"). I couldn't think of a good map-related joke, so I was "Your Next American Idol." It got me a free drink, as I was asked to come up and sing a song.
On the surface, it would appear to be an easy week, as I only missed three questions. However, I made an inordinate number of good guesses on questions where I wasn't at all sure my answer was correct. Despite my solid showing, I wound up second, because I spent three points on one missed answer (worse, during the post-trivia call to the gf, she immediately came up with the name I couldn't remember. Darn that no-calls-during-the-game rule).
The first three were my misses. I liked the halftime questions, so those are 4 through 6. The final was a logic puzzle, which I'll post in a few minutes.

1. Name the twins on the TV show Thundercats.
2. How many different actors have played Batman (in movies and live-action TV shows, not cartoons)?
3. On the TV show Home Improvement, what are the names of Tim Taylor's three sons? (the characters, not the actors)
Halftime: which came first? The second two are based on movies, and refer to the time period shown in the movie (as opposed to the year a particular movie was released).
4. Which came first: the invention of the thimble, or the extinction of wild boars in England?
5. Which came first: Bill & Ted's kidnapping of Napoleon, or Don Diego de la Vega first donning the mask of Zorro?
6. Which came first: Michael Corleone's ascension to Don of the Corleone family, or Superman's (the Christopher Reeve version) arrival on Earth?

More Crazy Competitors! More Insane Obstacles!

Tune your channels to G4 this week. For the next four days, on Attack of the Show!, the gf's brother competes in the finals of the American Ninja Challenge. If he wins, he gets to go to Japan and compete on Ninja Warrior. Did I mention all of this already?
Anyway, watch tonight at 7 Eastern. If you miss it, it's on again at 11.