Sunday, March 9, 2008


Remember last week, when I said it would be two weeks before the Nanny went Hand That Rocks the Cradle on us? Well, I was off by a week. Nathan gets home from the basketball game we weren't shown last week, and hops in the shower. Fran, however, has been waiting naked around the corner, and hops in the shower with him. Nathan, unsurprisingly, freaks out, and kicks Fran out of the shower. Unfortunately, Haley chooses this exact moment to get home. Nathan tries to explain, but, really, what's the point? You're naked with the nanny, dude. Haley, unsurprisingly, freaks out, and kicks Fran out of the house. Then, she comes back and gives Nathan the heave-ho, too.
Peyton walks into her office to find her former boss. I'm gonna call him John, because that's actually his name. John wants to sign Mia away from Peyton, because small artists can't survive without a major label. Is this 1995? Seth Cohen could name you a couple of bands that made it on a small label. But because this show is, in so many ways, an anachronism, Mia will die without a large corporate machine behind her. Peyton and John repeat this conversation the next day, and Peyton caves in. Unfortunately, Mia chooses this exact moment to walk into the room. Mia, unsurprisingly, freaks out, and storms off, because that's what she does. This, in turn, causes John to freak out, and he offers Mia some ridonkulous deal that allows her to still be distributed on Peyton's label, and lets her retain control of her songs. In fact, it's quite similar to the deal that Death Cab allegedly has with Atlantic. Of course, they got that deal after releasing four successful albums on a small label, not after one YouTube clip of a one-song performance in a North Carolina nightclub. But I digress, because now we find out that Mia and Peyton were in cahoots! It turns out that Mia's latest nutty was staged, so that they could get the deal they wanted. Everyone is happy, and Mia goes home to pack her bags, because she's opening for Ryan Adams the next day. All over the country, high schoolers decide their homework is no longer necessary, because they can sign with a major record label if they can get one good song on the internets.
Meanwhile, it's 9:00 in the morning, and Brooke is at the bar, indulging her weird obsession with Woody. Somehow, the flirting results in both of them flying to New York for the day, which turns out to be an excuse to re-introduce us to Rachel, the hot redhead from last season. Rachel has become a heroin addict. That's bad! But Woody beats up her dealer and gives Brooke the number for a rehab clinic in New York. That's good! It turns out, though, Woody is a recovering addict himself. That's bad! But he knew someone who helped him out. That's good! Brooke ignores the number for the clinic, and brings Rachel back to Tree Hill with her. I'm not sure, but I'm going with "that's bad." By the way, I'm guessing the guy who helped Woody turns out to be Dan, because that would be totally inexplicable.
Speaking of Dan, he's up for parole! Lucas and Nathan drive to the hearing, Dan tells us all why he should get out of jail, and Lucas tells us why he shouldn't. Then, because this episode is all about secrets and lies and people walking in at the wrong time, we find out that Nathan has visited Dan at the prison. This is made out to be a big deal, because this episode is also about people overreacting to things that Nathan does. The entire parole hearing seems to be a plot device to get Nathan and Lucas to talk about what it means to be a good husband and father, and for Lucas to tell Nathan that he just needs to suck it up and apologize for Fran being a nutjob. After all, it was his fault Haley hired a nanny after a ninety-second interview without checking any references.
Anywho, Nathan goes home and apologizes. This fails miserably, because Fran has told Haley about the kissing and the skinny-dipping and that Nathan knew about all of it, and did not tell his wife. This, admittedly, is Nathan's fault. It is also his fault that he sends his son out to play by the pool at night while he argues with his wife. Jamie falls in the pool, Nathan saves him, Haley freaks out and asks for a divorce. Tune in next week, when nothing will be resolved, except possibly the reason that a bartender from North Carolina knows how to contact a clinic in Manhattan.

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